Calm in the Storm: Building Your Child's Emotional Skills This Summer

It was late evening. I had just gotten home and finally sat down to relax when my phone rang.

One of my staff members, completely panicked. The school was flooding. A terrible rainstorm had hit, and water was pouring in everywhere.

When I pulled up, the water was so high I couldn't see the sidewalk. Inside, staff members were in tears. Students were picking up mats, trying to save whatever they could. The whole room felt like doomsday.

In that moment, I had a choice. I could believe "This is a disaster. Everything is ruined." Or I could believe "This is serious, but it's a problem to solve."

I chose the second one. I didn't pretend it wasn't bad. I just refused to attach a catastrophic meaning to it. I started picking up mats. Then I made a calm video for our families: this happened, it's okay, we'll get through it.

And people rallied. Tons of people showed up to help. Some brought food. We were back up and running faster than anyone expected.

I share this story in my book, Built to Lead, because it shows something I want every parent to understand. Kids learn how to handle storms by watching how we handle them.

Why Do Kids Get More Emotional in the Summer?

Summer should be all sunshine and freedom, right? But a lot of parents notice more meltdowns, more fighting between siblings, and more "I'm bored!" than usual. There are good reasons:

• Routines disappear. School gives kids structure. Without it, days can feel long and unpredictable.
• Sleep shifts. Later nights and irregular mornings leave kids tired and short-fused.
• More screen time. Long stretches on devices can make transitions off them harder.
• Less time with friends. Kids miss the daily social contact they get at school.
• Back-to-school worry. As August arrives, many kids start feeling nervous about a new teacher, new class, or new school.

None of this means something is wrong with your child. Kids are still building the skills to manage big feelings. Summer just exposes where those skills need a little more practice.

How Can I Help My Child Regulate Their Emotions?

1. Keep a simple daily rhythm. It doesn't need to be a strict schedule. Wake-up time, meals, outside time, a quiet time, and bedtime at roughly the same hours give kids something to count on.
2. Name the feeling. "You look really frustrated right now." Putting words to emotions helps kids understand them and calm down faster.
3. Practice calming tools when they're calm. Deep breaths, counting to ten, a hug, a walk. Practice when things are good so the tools are ready when things aren't.
4. Choose your meaning. When something goes wrong, model it out loud: "Okay, the pool is closed. That's disappointing. What else could we do?" You're teaching them to see a problem to solve, not a disaster.
5. Talk about school before it starts. Visit the building, meet the teacher if you can, and let your child share what they're nervous about.
6. Give them structure and friends. A summer camp or regular class gives kids routine, movement, and social time all at once.

If your child's worries or moods seem intense, last a long time, or get in the way of daily life, talk with your pediatrician or a licensed child therapist.

Two Options on a Bad Day

In Built to Lead, I teach that when something upsets you, you really have two options. You can take action and change the situation. Or you can change the meaning you give it.

Kids can learn this too. When your child is upset, ask, "Is there something we can do about this? Or is there a different way to look at it?" Over time, they'll start asking themselves.

How ZENTAI Builds Emotional Skills All Summer

At ZENTAI Martial Arts, we are a leadership development academy that uses martial arts as the vehicle. At our 4 New Jersey locations in Belleville, Clifton, Hackensack, and North Arlington, and our location in the Dominican Republic, the ZENTAI SKILLZ child development curriculum is designed to support kids' physical, intellectual, emotional, and social growth together.

• Summer Camp. Our ZENTAI Summer Camp gives kids structure, friends, movement, and fun during the months when routines usually fall apart. You'll find all the details on the Summer Camp page at zentai.us.
• Year-round classes. Age-specific kids classes follow the same familiar rhythm every time: warm-up, mat chat, skill drills, and a game. That predictability is calming.
• Practice under pressure. Martial arts gives kids safe chances to feel frustration, like missing a technique or losing a game, and practice staying calm.
• Character and technique. Our instructors coach both, so kids grow as people and as martial artists, including self-control and resilience.
• Parent SKILLZ. Skills like attunement and patience help you respond to big emotions at home.

This is more than a martial arts school. It's a village. When the storm hit our dojo, our ZENTAI family showed up. That's the kind of community we want surrounding your child, in summer and every season.

Keep Learning With ZENTAI

• Rapid Resets: 6 Quick Ways to Calm Your Child's Emotional Flood
• Turning Big Emotions Into Teachable Moments
• Friends, Confidence, and Connection: Social Skills Activities for Kids
• Summer Camp

Want More? Read Built to Lead

In my book, Built to Lead: Develop Character, Master Influence, and Find Your Purpose, I share the full flooding story and the framework I use to stay calm under pressure. It's written for parents to read with their preteens and teens.

Get Built to Lead on Amazon. All net proceeds support Heart of ZENTAI, our nonprofit bringing free martial arts and leadership training to children in the Dominican Republic.

Give Your Child a Steady Summer

We work with kids ages 3 and up, teens, and adults. Visit us in Belleville, Clifton, Hackensack, or North Arlington, NJ, and see the Summer Camp page at zentai.us for camp details.

Book your child's first class at zentai.us or call (201) 431-5425. Adult classes are available too.

We Rise By Lifting Others.